


A Requiem for Lost Years

by tenacioussurrender



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Divergence, Dead Ben Hargreeves, Dead Reginald Hargreeves, Family, Gen, Good siblings, Hurt Number Five | The Boy, Hurt/Comfort, Kitty Cat Version, Loneliness, Miscommunication, Nay, No Reginald Hargreeves, Number Five | The Boy Gets A Hug, Number Five | The Boy Has Issues, Number Five | The Boy Needs A Hug, Number Five | The Boy Whump, Number Five | The Boy-centric, Post Season 2, Team Zero (Umbrella Academy), as per usual, bc we need that rn, mr. pennycrumb - Freeform, yay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-07
Updated: 2020-11-07
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:40:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27428074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tenacioussurrender/pseuds/tenacioussurrender
Summary: After surviving two apocalypses, the Umbrella Academy is back in 2019 and everything's fine and dandy. Everything except the fact that Five's spiraling over his siblings all returning to their lives.or...Five finds himself in an alley where he meets no other than Mr. Pennycrumb who arrives in the form of a tiny, black kitten.
Relationships: Number Five | The Boy & Diego Hargreeves, Number Five | The Boy & Klaus Hargreeves, Number Five | The Boy & The Hargreeves (Umbrella Academy), Number Five | The Boy (Umbrella Academy) & Everyone
Comments: 28
Kudos: 242





	A Requiem for Lost Years

It starts with a margarita. Although, he supposes, that’s how it’s starts most days now. It’s been a week since they stopped the Apocalypse and returned to 2019. Somehow everything seemed unaffected by their time travel escapades, or at least that’s what his siblings say. He’s waiting for the other shoe to drop, half expecting to get a millisecond’s notice before another apocalypse knocks on the door. 

He’s sitting at the bar in the Umbrella Academy house, staring at the bottle of Tequila. Last time he was in this position, at least he’d had Dolores to keep him company. But lately, he’s been entirely alone, even more so than the Apocalypse. He tries to keep himself from thinking about it, turning to alcohol more than he’d like to admit, but the feeling of loneliness is one he cannot bear. 

It’s not that he thought things would be extremely different if they ever managed to stop the world from ending, but frankly, he hadn’t expected his siblings to go their own ways so quickly. Sure, he doesn’t need to be happy, it’s enough they’re alive, but forgive him if he’d started to hope they’d actually be a family again. But, he supposes, maybe they never were a family to begin with. Just a super-powered team that was destined to fall apart. 

He nurses his empty glass, a small giggle falling from his lips. He languidly glances around the room, half expecting, half hoping, one of his siblings would pop up and chastise him. But they don’t. He sets his glass down on the granite and lowers his head into his hand. 

Had he known that the drink they’d convinced Allison to get with them would be the last time they’d all be together, he’d have done something. He’s not sure what - but at this point, he’s feeling desperate enough to even invent a new apocalypse to force them all together again. 

“That’s stupid.” He mutters into his hand. 

He reaches out with his free hand, pouring the remaining Tequila straight into his glass, forgoing the margarita mix entirely. He sighs, raising the glass to his lips and downing the alcohol. His eyes shut against the strong taste on his tongue. He shakily lowers the glass back down to the bar-top. His face feels warm, he can feel his heartbeat in his throat. 

The one good thing about being claustrophobically stuck in his thirteen year old body is that drinking has become much cheaper. Or would be if he could get into a bar. He feels his head minutely teeter back and forth. He pushes against the bar, attempting to get off the stool. He falls backward onto the ground instead. 

“Shit!” He shouts. 

He’ll likely face the repercussions of that move later, can already feel exactly where the future bruise will manifest. He finds himself laughing at the idiocy of his thoughts. A bruise? What he would have given for a simple bruise during the Apocalypse or when he was working at the Commission. Since when had he been so soft? His face drops at that thought, the image of his siblings flooding his mind. He gulps, pushing himself up onto shaky legs. 

He stumbles through the house, the quiescence forcing trembles to trail down his body. Before he can even put together an idea, or an entire thought, he’s outside the house. He can’t remember if he shut the door or not, but it doesn’t matter because his body is taking him away from the solitude of such a big, empty place. He shoves his hands in his pockets and lifts his head, hoping to convey a sense of consciousness. He blinks around. There’s no one walking the sidewalks, he glances behind himself. One or two cars drive past, but that’s it. With startling clarity, he feels it creep up into his lungs, the realization that he’s still _alone._

He stops for a moment, stilling in place. Loneliness has carved such a deep hole in him, he feels empty. His eyebrows furrow as he considers just how little he feels. He takes another step just as a raindrop trickles down his forehead. He glances up at the sky, another droplet landing, this time on his nose. Tears prickle at his eyes as he watches the rain start to come down. _I’m so fucking alone._ He thinks as his head lulls back down, his bangs falling into his eyes. _I’ll always be alone._

The gentle patter of rain quickly transforms into a slamming blanket of water. He glances back to where he came from, the house is rather far at this point. His head turns back to the sidewalk before him, there’s an alley not far ahead. He weakly nods to himself, stumbling forward once again. He wraps his arms around himself, feeling a slight chill creep in through his soaked clothes. 

He practically falls into the alley, one of his hands reaching out to brace against the brick wall. The building he leans against offers a small shield from the rain, but it continues to fall between the two stores, only mere inches away from him. He pushes himself down deeper into the alleyway, until falls down next to some wet cardboard boxes. His back is against the brick wall and his arms are wrapped around his legs in front of him. The rain still lands on his shoes, but he’s not quite lucid enough to care. His eyes focus on the rain, he attempts to convince himself that it’s the cause for the wetness under his eyes. He tightens the hold around himself, trying to not think about how this is the closest he ever gets to a hug. He can’t remember the last time he felt arms around him with the intent to hug, but he can remember watching the way his siblings interacted in Dallas and wishing they’d been as happy to see him as they were each other. It was childish and stupid and embarrassing but he’d been watching them closely, noticing the differences in their relationships. He’d noted their happiness and their hugs compared to the disdain and annoyance that was thrown his way. Luther’s “I don’t give a shit”, Diego’s “I was fine until you showed up”, Vanya’s “I can’t help you.”

He only notices he’s sobbing when he feels the lack of air in his lungs. He chokes on the agony spewing up and out of him in the form of loud cries. He lowers his head to his knees, hugging himself with an almost painful grip. His fingers are tight in his pants as his back trembles. The pitter patter of rain is comforting as it squashes the silence he’s grown to be terrified of. It begins to lull him down from his misery inducing pitiful cries. His breathing levels out, numbness taking its rightful place back where it’s made a home in his chest. 

He feels something brush against his pants. He slowly raises his head, glancing down to his side. There, a small creature sits, staring up at him. His eyes flutter around the alleyway and back down to the black cat. 

“Hello.” He croaks, his voice still thick from crying. 

He half expects to be imagining the tiny animal, that it will disappear as soon as he recognizes it like a mirage. But, on the contrary, it remains in its spot, watching him curiously. It lets out a small, weak meow. Five’s eyebrows raise at the sound. He cautiously unfurls his body, afraid of frightening the animal. It doesn’t seem to mind, nonchalantly raising its paw to rub at the wet fur on its face. Five blinks at it, tentatively reaching out with his hand. The cat drops its paw, suddenly unsure. 

Five keeps his arm out halfway to the cat, stilling in place. 

“I’m Five.” He whispers, eyes scanning the animal. 

The cat meows in response, slowly extending its neck to sniff at the trembling fingers in the air. Five remains as still as he can manage, despite the chill in his body. A moment longer of calculating eyes and the cat concedes, rubbing its face against Five’s fingers. Its fur is as soft as he’d expected it to be, even softer. He gives the cat a few moments to deem him safe, before he tests his luck attempting to fully pet the creature. His fingers delicately slide through the black fur on the cat’s back. He hesitates for a moment, only continuing when the animal steps closer to him, small rumbling sounds escaping it. 

Five has never been lucky enough to have a pet. The Apocalypse had been desolate and the most interaction he’d had with an animal was when he’d been attacked by a rabid dog. That had turned him off from the species for life, but the small creature staring up at him is rather unimposing. In fact he thinks it could qualify as being rather cute. It brushes up against his leg, purring so loud Five finds himself focusing solely on the sound.

He remembers reading every piece of media he could get his hands on in the Apocalypse. He’d even read books on animal psychology. It’d been before the dog attack when he’d hungrily read through the pages, praying for an animal to be dropped into his lap, some sort of living creature to get him through the abysmal silence of the nights. He distinctly remembers imagining what a cat’s purr must sound like. He’d read about how it was a sign of them being happy and feeling comforted and safe. 

He feels a small smile twitch at his lips as he watches the animal crawl into his lap. Its front claws catch in his shirt as it climbs his chest, reaching its head to bump against Five’s. He feels himself giggling at the creature, lowering his face to offer easier access. The cat gladly takes the moment to sniff at his nose, nipping at it. He pulls back slightly, chuckling as the cat blinks sluggishly at him. 

The alcohol has all but evaporated from his system and now he’s simply cold and wet, but he can’t feel any desire to get up and ruin the only innocent attention he’s received in almost fifty years. This is the first interaction he can remember in which he wasn’t being used or someone didn’t expect something from him. 

The sound of a throat clearing interrupts his train of thought. He jolts at the sound, eyes flickering to the source. Diego is standing a few feet away, under the building cover. His hair is wet nonetheless. 

“Uh, D-Diego.” Five stutters, suddenly sitting up straighter in an attempt of collecting himself. 

“I saw you leaving the house on my way there. You looked a little...out of it. So I followed you,” At the look on Five’s face, Diego holds his hands up placatingly. “I was just gonna make sure you were fine. I know how you get about feeling babied, but dude you’ve been sitting here for the past hour.”

“Whatever.” Five mutters with a shrug, eyes dropping to the cat in his lap who is now steadily watching his brother. 

“Come on, man. Why don’t I give you...and your new friend a ride back home?” Diego offers, reaching a hand down. 

Five stares at the extended limb as if it has personally offended him. Diego sighs, retracting his arm. Five falters at the exasperation on his brother’s face, it’s all he seems to get from his siblings now. He supposes it’s his fault, if he could just accept help, if he could just speak like a normal person. Like the adult he claims to be. But no, his words tie his tongue and all that spews out is the anger and sadness that’s pulsated in him for decades. He can only churn out pain; it’s no wonder his siblings want nothing to do with him. He glances over at the spot his brother was in, expecting him to have driven off, but Diego’s still standing in place watching him with a strange look. 

“Everyone says to just give you space, that you’ll come around eventually. But, the thing is...I don’t think that’s true. I don’t think you want space at all. I think you feel lonely as fuck,” He says motioning to the kitten in his brother’s lap. “I think you’re too proud to admit just how much you crave attention.”

“You’re wrong.” Five snarls, but the tear rolling down his cheek makes his vitriol fall flat. 

“Like you told me, you were alone for forty-five years. I can’t imagine how hard it must be for you to, you know, rejoin society or whatever.” Diego waves his hand around, lowering into a crouch next to his brother.

“I think we’ve gone about this whole thing the wrong way.” He adds, gently patting the kitten on the head. “Leaving you be clearly isn’t working.”

He glances up at Five at that, scanning his face. Five turns his head, looking away as he reaches up to wipe at his eyes. 

“It’s okay to be vulnerable sometimes, you know?” Diego offers, keeping his eyes locked on the cat as he pets it. “It took me a hell of a long time to figure that out. Clearly, I’m not perfect, I still struggle sometimes. I-I regret a lot of things and I know Luther regrets the way he acted when you...when you tried opening up. But, Five, getting drunk and hiding in an alley? That’s just not sustainable, especially in the body you’re in.” 

Five glares at his brother, incapable of coming up with a snarky enough response to that. 

“I’m done letting you stew and I think the rest of the family is too.” Diego says, dropping his arm to his side. He scans his brother’s face. “If you don’t want this, just say so.”

Five’s eyebrows scrunch at that, his mouth opening to ask what the hell Diego’s talking about. Before he can get a word out, his brother has pulled him into his arms, tightly hugging him. Five supposes he must look like a fish out of water, his mouth opening and closing and his eyes rapidly blinking. He can feel the cat purring on his lap. He closes his eyes, body falling limp into the embrace. 

After a moment, Diego slowly backs away, offering his brother a gentle smile. 

“Let’s go home.” He softly says, extending his hand out again.

Five could turn him down once more. He could sneer at him. He’s probably sober enough to spatial jump away at this point. Diego would probably give up after that. Instead, he holds the cat to his chest with one arm and grabs Diego with the other. His brother pulls him up, steadily leading him to his car that’s parked at the mouth of the alleyway. 

Upon reaching the vehicle, Diego opens the passenger door for Five. Five shuts the door behind himself, dropping into the seat and suddenly feeling incredibly exhausted. He flinches at the sound of his name being called, twisting in his seat. 

Luther, Klaus, and Vanya are squished together in the back. Five glances between Diego who’s shutting the door behind himself and the rest of his siblings who are staring at him. 

“What are you all doing here?” He questions, voice cracking. 

His hand trembles where it’s holding the cat to his chest. 

“Well, none of us have cars for one.” Klaus starts, holding a finger up. “Plus, we were planning a family meeting when we found our lil bro staggering down the sidewalk. And you know, it’s not a family meeting without our fearless leader.”

Five reels at that, eyes flickering over to Luther who shrugs in agreement. Vanya offers a soft smile from where she’s sitting next to their ex- Number One. 

“We’ll call Allison when we get home, she made it _very_ clear that she'd like to be involved in the _discussion_ as well.” Diego adds, sticking the keys in the ignition and starting the car. 

Five opens his mouth to question his siblings on what exactly they mean by family meeting but Vanya beats him to speaking.

“We’re glad you’re safe, Five.” She softly says, hand reaching out to gently touch her brother’s shoulder. 

Five is frankly befuddled, he feels like he’s landed on an alien planet, which isn’t the most improbable thing to happen to him. He feels overwhelmed by such a large amount of affection being afforded to him in such a short period of time. He wonders if they’d watched him crying in the rain, if they’d felt pity for him. Surprisingly, he finds he doesn’t care. It doesn’t matter why they’re treating him this way. He feels warm, despite the absence of alcohol. He feels loved. 

As Diego drives down the road and Five stares back at his other siblings, he can feel tears stream down his face. His siblings don’t say anything, they don’t react much at all, offering him the same softness they had been moments ago. He turns in his seat, facing away from them, wiping his face. 

As soon as the car is parked in front of the house, Klaus is scrambling out and at Five’s door, opening it for him. Five squints at his brother suspiciously. 

“Why’re you all acting strange?” He questions, using his free hand to push himself out of the car.

Klaus exaggeratedly gasps. “Are you saying we aren’t normally strange?!”

Five rolls his eyes, shutting the car door with his side. 

“God, that kitty is adorable. Have you named it yet?” Klaus asks, crouching to get a better look at the animal asleep in his brother’s arm.

“Mr. Pennycrumb.” Five offers easily, walking past Klaus who awkwardly straightens back up.

The rest of the siblings are already entering the house as the other two lag behind.

“How do you know it’s a boy?” Klaus wonders aloud, jogging to catch up to Five.

Five stops in place, raising a brow. He lifts the cat who grumbles at the movement.

“It’s a boy, everyone!” Klaus shouts, informing the entire square block.

Five shakes his head, continuing into the house. 

“I got Allison on the phone!” Luther yells from somewhere further inside. 

Klaus and Five head to the source, ending up in their father’s office where Luther is sitting in the chair with the phone to his ear, Vanya is standing next to him, and Diego is perched on the desk. 

“Okay, Allison, everyone’s here now.” 

“What’s going on?” Five questions, maneuvering the cat in his arms. 

“Well, Five, we were all talking and...with your permission of course, we thought we’d sell the house.” Luther explains, glancing between his siblings as if unsure of how their brother will react.

“And split it five ways, since Allison’s already filthy rich.” Diego adds with a wink. 

Vanya reaches over to smack him on the arm.

“And!” Klaus interjects. “The most important part of all. Vanya has her own place already, Luther’s planning on traveling the world and getting cultured and shit, but Diego and I are planning to share an apartment because I’m too used to having a nagging brother around all the time to live on my own.”

“What Klaus is trying to say,” Diego interrupts. “Is that if you’re interested, we could up that two bedroom apartment to three.”

Five blinks at the onslaught of information. He expects a “just kidding!” at any moment, but Diego and Klaus seem to actually be awaiting an answer. His default is to say no, to isolate himself further, but he glances down at Mr. Pennycrumb. He supposes he’d need somewhere to live if they sell the mansion, Mr. Pennycrumb would need somewhere to live. His head begins to run through potential scenarios, all the ways this could form an unfortunate situation. But he stops, forcing his mind blank, and looks up at his siblings.

“Sure.” He says.

The relieved expressions on his siblings’ faces and Allison’s excitement through the phone are enough to convince him he made the right decision.

“Well, as your now brother and roommate, I get extra kitty cuddle rights.” Klaus teases, dancing over to his brother. 

Diego jumps down from the desk, stopping Klaus before he can reach the cat.

“Do not make him change his decision.” He threatens with squinted eyes, holding his finger up at his brother. 

Five laughs, a real true happy laugh. 

He doesn’t know what exactly has incited this change in his siblings, but he supposes he hasn’t offered them much time. This is the first week of them being free from the feeling of the weight of the world on their shoulders. He’d had forty-five years to grow accustomed to the load he carries. Plus they had seventeen years without him, seventeen years without each other, even more counting the 60's. A super-powered team of a family deserves as much time as any other to recover, he supposes. After their father and two apocalypses, maybe they deserve even more than that. Maybe he hadn’t given them enough time, maybe he’d been too harsh with them and himself. 

He glances down at the sleeping cat in his arms and for the first time in his life, he’s not terrified of the future. For the first time, happy may just actually be an option. And fuck, if life is finally giving him the option, he’s going to take it. 


End file.
